The worst part is that I still remember,
I still remember when I was happy.
I still remember when I had you.
I still remember when I had it all.
I still remember, and that’s the worst part.
I’ll never get that feeling back.
Find my writing here.
19, Male, Australia.
I like words, black and white photographs and cars.
If you would like me to take a look at your blog, feel free to ask.
www.facebook.com/bluggy
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• Submit-een Gun Forever & Always.
19, Male, Australia.
I like words, black and white photographs and cars.
If you would like me to take a look at your blog, feel free to ask.
www.facebook.com/bluggy
• Ask.
• Submit-een Gun Forever & Always.
I look around and see all these happy people. They might not be traveling on their desired path through life, but they are smiling, laughing and content.
I envy them at the best of times.
All are blessed in the beginning, but some choose not to be. It’s a choice you’ll regret, a choice you’ll never know why you made, but you did and loathe.
Cracks in the foundation.
I have been wandering the dim lit paths within my mind for a long time now, seldom finding something worth while and secure to position myself upon, and until I find something concrete to set myself upon, I remain some kind of anonymous person without a solid identity. I am struggling to remain optimistic even with simple everyday tasks, and I fear I am falling apart from the inside out. I suppose for the only reason of basic human initiative, I will attempt to build myself for the forthcoming two months, without any purpose however, as everything will change again shortly after I find some sort of foundation to construct anything, everything is going to change.
May I ask with all sincerity not to read these words and even begin to get the inkling feeling that I am complaining for my lack of euphoria, it is the point that my changing personality, attitude and general personality is and will continue to harm the people around me. Although, I am not at all comfortable with who I am at this point in time, I do not mind, as long as the ones that I love can continue to thrive around me. Unfortunately however, I cannot seem to control the shifts in myself that can and will take place, oh how I wish I could control the universe.
I just hope with immense compassion and care that I may be seen as faithful, trustworthy and worthy. Without having support from others, I may remain lost, continuing to alter myself with no real cause, no real purpose. I may remain without identity.
With all that rambling aside, the day is still young, and I plan to squeeze this world for all it is worth. After all, I am still a child with aspirations to amount to something.
I want my time spent present in this world to be worth it, and I will at any cost, ensure that to happen.
I loved you once, and how terribly ashamed I am to admit it.
There is a reason, but you wouldn’t care to hear it.
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There is so much love in you, you just don’t know how to let it out, and in all the confusion you became cruel and angry.
Equation of a relationship.
People act confused when it comes to stating the ingredients of a working relationship, they only act confused so they don’t appear shallow but in order to be honest you have to come off as shallow.
For a relationship to work both people involved must have faith in the other and in the relationship itself. The moment one person doesn’t the connection is in tatters, however what then comes out of that is the social judgement and outside perception of the new disconnection of the two. The people surrounding the disconnected pair (Friends, family etc.) will automatically assume, assume that one of the two has done wrong by the other, assume that only one of the pair deserves sorrow and support.
What many don’t understand or refuse to acknowledge is that both parties deserve support equally post-break up, even if one has fucked up, they too will require help to move on.
After all, pain killers don’t remove pain from the body, they distract the brain from the pain. Distraction is the best medicine. Not just laughter.
I’ve cried for you, bled for you and sacrificed for you. What do I get in return? A swift kick to the fucking teeth… You’re cruel with no remorse, I mean nothing to you.
I like to think of myself of a glass or vase. The things around me and the things I do can fill me up with water creating a more fulfilled me. It just seems that every single time that I get my levels of water to a decent amount, the world seems to pour it all out somehow.
I just became content with my life not to long ago, now things are changing, people are changing and I will some be thousands of kilometers from the people that I have grown to love.
This is utterly cruel.
Resultant of Suicide.
It will never be an expressiveness of hatred that will drive a person to a state of mind that results in a suicide.
The only thing that will ever lead a person to do such a thing is a severe lack of love in their everyday life.
Depression.
In this place that I go,
Where nobody knows;
The sun don’t shine
and the wind doesn’t blow.
This place holds no beauty,
but nor does it care.
I sit in the darkness;
Through mindless despair.
This place has no monsters,
Just you and your mind.
If strength is not kept,
then destruction you’ll find.
In this place that I go;
Where nobody knows.
The rain won’t fall
and The moon never glows…
True love.
I have a basic rule for the marriage of two human beings, ninety-nine percent of people that are wed are not truly happy with each other but have settled for mild comfortability. You see, the biggest fear of the human race isn’t of sickness or death, or even anything of the sort. It’s of living lonely, the shear thought of it is corruptive within itself, and it leads people to do terrible things, like spending the remainder of your life with someone whom you do not love. Which is why, every day that I live on this planet I thank the lord above that I do not belong to that ninety-nine percent of people, I am apart of the exclusive one percent of people that have found their love.
Her name is Eevee; she is beautiful, funny, smart, realistic and rational. Rationality has always been a quality I always look for in a person, whether it be a friend or partner. I love Eevee and she loves me back equally.
I suffer immense pain the moment you enter my thoughts. It hurts so very much, like acid is being circulated though my brain and continues throughout the rest of my body. It hurts knowing you will never be mine. I do not blame you though, as you are much too perfect, much too precious to be in my arms. It’s hurts knowing you will never love me back. I do not blame you though, as you are much too out of my league. What an idiot I must be… Mindlessly loving you.
The recklessness I show through my actions is both a curse and a blessing within itself. On occasion it can supply large return, in other cases I wind up with a large deficit. However, I suppose anything in this world follows the same basic principle, ‘The higher the risk, the higher the return’. Unfortunately however I struggle immensely to distinguish suitable situations to act recklessly and when not to, I hope that one day I will act somewhat responsibly with my recklessness because this self sabotage business is beginning to irritate me.
“Am I really that bad of a person?”; This question runs through my head like sand through an hourglass. Slow and painfully. I am not usually one to ponder on the opinion of others however, when it comes to this self-asked question, I have to draw on the opinions of others, do I not? Which leads me to remember all the negative reviews that I have received from others regarding my personality, reputation and actions.
Of course, like any typical human being, my mind maximizes the negatives to something close to double the population and meaning and minimizes the positives. Which is when I get stuck, off the top of my head I would respond to the question, “I am not the Deli Lama, however nor am I Hitler.”, but then after thought and the hourglass flowing painfully slow well mindedness is seldom. I get stuck on the negatives and alas! I myself, think I am a bad person just as all of my critics do.
What a wonderful world.